4 Ways To Re ignite The Passion
and FIRE In Your Relationship

First of all: Realize that relationships take work, lots of it. Here's 4 things you need to start doing right away to have the relationship of your dreams.

1. Deeply understand your partner

Several weeks ago, a woman told me that after a few months of marriage her husband hated kids. A man wrote to me to say that he discovered several years into his marriage that his wife had been in prison.

I believe a lot fewer couples would get divorced if they actually knew each other before they got married (or even afterwards). The best way to really know someone is with questions.

Questions about money, careers, the past, sex, religion, kids to name a few. The big questions in life that make all the difference and often remove conflict before it arises.

Money, Children and Sex

• Do you think you could ever give up your current life and move half way around the world for someone you love or for a perfect job?
• Do you think life insurance is a wise “investment”?
• At this stage in your life, do you think you would prefer having children or being child-free?
• Do you think your feelings might change?
• Are you a virgin? If so, do you plan on staying one until you are married?

Home and Origin

• How do you feel about friends, relatives or people in need living in your house for a year?
• Where do you think you would be most comfortable living?
• City or country?
• Near the beach or closer to the mountains?
• Hot, warm or cold climate?

Religion, The Past and Fears

• Are there any types of pets that you refuse to live with (snakes, rats, stray dogs, etc?
• Do you have any phobias, fears or concerns about going to the doctor?
• Do you support (with money and/or time) any charities or causes?
• Do you believe in God?
• What were you raised to believe about religion?
• What were you teased about when you were younger?
• How did that make you feel? Did you tease others?

These questions are just the tip of the iceberg. There are hundreds and hundreds more questions that MUST be asked to really know the person you love and to ensure you stay happily marriage for years to come.

2. Show your love in a UNIQUE way often

When was the last time you said "I love you?" Not just the words… but when did you really put some time and energy into it? Never underestimate how much a thoughtful "I love you" can turn around a relationship. Here's some ideas:

1. Send them a unique gift at work. Get a piece of paper and some crayons. Draw a bright childlike picture with a smiley sun and two stick figures holding hands. Add labels with your two names pointing to the stick figures. Write ‘I Love You’ inside a heart. Next get a large formal envelope. Place your drawing inside and type up a formal address label of your partner's workplace, such as: “For the immediate and urgent attention of: Rebecca Jones, Level 20, Collins & Smith Solicitors, New York.” Mail it to your partner so they receive it in the middle of a busy day.

2. Bring back childhood memories. Contact your partner's family and ask if there was anything she always wanted when she was a little girl. For example if she always wanted a porcelain doll, buy one for her birthday. She will not only appreciate the gift, but also the fact that you were thoughtful enough to find out what she always wanted. You can do this for your man too.

3. A massage with a twist. Buy a small, decorated cardboard box, a sheet of colored tissue paper, some massage oil and a blank card. Line the box with the tissue paper. Place the massage oil in the box and write the following message on the card: I know a great masseur. For an appointment call: (Your Phone Number)

4. Unique flower idea. Leave a long-stem rose where your partner will find it, with a note on it saying: "Thank you for coming into my life."

3. Go on dates (Never stop dating!)

Is dating only for new relationships? NO!

While being with someone for a long time makes it easy to slip into a stable and comfortable routine, the problem is you often lose that spark that made your relationship so special in the first place.

The moral of this story? Never stop dating! Have a water fight, stare at the clouds on a grassy hill, organize a backyard picnic or go to a museum. Dedicate time each week or month to doing fun things with your partner.

4. Spark and fuel intimacy

Probably the most profound way to rekindle the romance in your marriage is to spice up your lovemaking.

Surprise your partner with a little gift after you make love, try a new position, learn to give your partner a sensual massage before or after, or just spend some time staring into each other’s eyes and caressing their bare skin before making love. Many people underestimate the affect passionate and intimate lovemaking has on a relationship.

Let's face it, keeping your relationship strong is a huge challenge.

The biggest problem is that most couples simply don't have the time to be creative and spend hours every week finding new ways to surprise and be romantic.

After going to work, taking the kids to and from school, sports and other activities, cooking, cleaning and other daily tasks, there seems like little time to BREATHE!… let alone be romantic with your partner.

And that's where my collection comes in…